Having a son... why?

My wife's cousin asked a question on her Facebook page that led to this response from me.  


We were married for a long time before we got too stressed out about it, then it wasn't happening. We had to decide to work for it. My wife had to go through horribly invasive medical examinations, take drugs, and have our personal lives invaded by people calling themselves doctors who were blatantly horrible people. While going through it there were times we had to learn to live with the possibility that it might not happen. I had to put up with people who said really stupid things belittling our situation whether intentionally or not. There came a time when we chose to sell our house to save money so we could save up for more medical procedures after a doctor stole our last money we had saved up. We spoke about adoption, but it never felt right for us, or we were just scared. I accidentally found this photograph online of a little toddler standing behind a gauzy curtain next to a window. It instantly focused the feelings I had been having lately. The reason it was fine to sell our house. We stopped wanting to have a baby and started feeling like someone was missing. That sounds too cheesy, but it was real. I would look around the corner or turn around and feel like I had misplaced something. Like someone was standing just behind a curtain. We found a doctor who told us we had been being lied to, that there were easier things to try first, and the second try worked, for about one tenth of the money other doctors were trying to squeeze out of us. Two of our friends have gone to that same doctor and have their babies now. Nothing I can say will sound new about meeting our new baby. When he came three months early my wife's family was out of town and we ended up having some of the most spiritual together time of our lives as we had to let go and rely on others. People kept saying how great we were handling it, but we knew it was all working out perfectly. The fact that he looked just like me was honestly one of the biggest joys of my life. I learned to sleep with my hand on his chest in case he forgot to keep breathing after the NICU, my hand was faster than the alarms. I'd do it all again while drinking acid and walking on broken glass. He is part of me. I have never experienced this kind of love before. I knew I would be a great dad, and though I'm not close to perfect, I'm feeling pretty awesome. We have a blast. I love his personality. I love seeing the world through his eyes. I think I knew we were going to be ok either way. I learned that living a good life was possible without children. I learned that spirituality was not synonymous with having children. I learned that too many people took it for granted. I think it helped me respect the power of procreation and having a son helped me love God more since I can understand better what it means to love someone like your child. I couldn't have done that if I hadn't had thought it might not be possible, or if I had never watched my son sleeping in his incubator, tried to walk around the living room trailing oxygen tubes and monitor wires or held his hand walking across a parking lot, or had him fall asleep on my chest, or had tucked him in, or or or..... I don't think I would be the loving person I am if I didn't have some short little guy's laugh reminding me how important it is to find joy