I am so bugged.
Since I got really sick a while ago, what a month, 2 days, I have no ability anymore to remember time frames, since whenever that was I haven't had any cola. It kind of just happened, it's not a goal or a diet plan, I'm just letting it stay that way for a while. So this morning my dress shirt should've been less tight around the stuffed sausage I call a neck, but no, no difference, why bother being healthy for an entire week or two if you can't see immediate results.... totally pointless.
I went to one of my old students farewells today, I am so proud of him and all of my kids when they make good decisions, so while I was there I forgot to be grumpy for a minute. He gave a great talk, most farewells you have to lie to the kid and tell him he gave a great talk while in the back of your head you're thinking, "you have no idea bucko" But he really did well, very humble and mature with a real testimony. I'm not bringing this back to being grumpy, that came back later.
Being at the farewell meant that I didn't do a thing for any of my three callings today and I'm in a place where that may have been a good thing. I'm sure I would've found a way to offend the entire Elder's Quorum.
Greydon's feedings today were both worthless.
He ate 4 ml out of 50 this morning and only 17 tonight. He's done tons better in the past, but today was almost pointless. After they shoved his food down his feeding tube while I was holding him none of my tricks worked and he wouldn't breath. His stats kept dropping, then barely coming up, then dropping. I was so frustrated. He was just pooped, he shouldn't be this tired out.
There are plenty of other things that are really peeving me off right now, I'd list them but it would come of all whiney and self serving, which it all is. I'd count my blessings but I'm too busy wallowing in my muddy mood.
We're all just waiting and watching....
He's beautiful, count your blessings, name then one by one yeah yeah I know
9 comments:
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, your writing!!! You have such a knack for saying it just the way it is. Hope today is a better one for you sweetie!
I may have funkified you. It sounds as though you are in a funk of your own. Would you like the badgering??? I would love to try my hand at it.
Hang in there but I have to agree with the healthy crap I never can tell a difference and ther eis nothing more irritating than have your clothes too tight! Your baby is getting soooo big I can't belivev what a month does just think about a month from now! Life changes so fast I love the Kenny Chesney song called "Don't Blink" It is so true! You and Kristen are truely amazing and I admire your patience with this whole thing! Love always!!!
Badger away Crystal, if I can dish it, I better be able to take it right! :)
Wow, what a big grouse you are, oh wait; I knew that, I raised the big grouse!!
Hey you're entitled to have one of those days occasionally, we all do, just don't stay in the bog so long you grow webs between your toes!!
Greydon will do better when he and H.F. say, "this will be a better day"!! He'll get there, he's not even developed to his origional due date; right?! Love, Muzz
It's hard staying up all the time with everything you and K are going thru. You are entitled every once in a while to be upset and vent. But how can you stay mad for very long when you look at that sweet, sweet baby. He is such a blessing all by his big self.
Maybe I will just gripe with you, though today is a better day. How about those people that do efedra to lose weight and then tell you it is the all natural way?? What the H? Being doped up on chemicals naturally helped me lose the weight. Okay.
Since you have already cut out the cola how about adding running while in the elevator, not the same as stairs but you will freak the people on the elevator out. Much more fun!
Your post made me feel good about having my own "poor me" days!! We're all human, what do we expect, huh?
My vote is for the elevator routine.. let me know how that goes.
Hang in there. We all need a good venting day, hour, minute whatever!
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