if x is for xylophones...

I am having difficulty deciding what I wanted to blog about right now. There are so many valid possibilities. I could blog about Christmas, secular or spiritual, though I don't feel like I have much to share that everyone wouldn't already be numb to; nothing earth shattering or earth shatteringly philosophical. It was a good Christmas, Greydon amazes me on a continuous basis, Jesus is great, thanks for the great gifts, happy to be surrounded with love, glad to have a week of rest, having a great vacation so far at that R's, I think that about sums it up.

I thought about posting about my schooling, not my teaching, but my studenting... and I guess this kind of counts.... I recently finished my classes. I alternate between a few different feelings here. One is gratitude that we were able to make it happen as a family, it would not have been possible without Kristen rooting for me and making many sacrifices. So that causes an undulation towards the guilt of taking so much family time to finish a degree that many people finish long before they are my age. The topic of "my age" undulates a queasy feeling of embarrassment, a feeling that is reemphasized every time someone clarifies; "oh so this is your masters? some sort of post graduate license? You finally are graduating surely with something more than just a bachelor's degree... surely at your age... oh wait... why are you all red faced and staring at the floor? Oh, awkward..." as I red facedly pretend like I am not reacting to the assumption I must be getting something above and beyond the bachelor's... hi, just a god ol' fashioned degree... yep, I'm old, yep, I didn't finish the first time I went to school, let me know if you would like a list of every other decision I regret.... Hey, I'm overweight too, should we talk about that for a while next? At one event in particular I had to clarify so many times in a row I was a little... affected.... I can list off reasons I am proud of finishing, but to list them now would sound forced and immature... I am proud... but I wish I was twenty two and getting a degree from Harvard or Yale or someplace instead of oldy two from UVU... huh, that rhymes...

But it feels unseasonal to keep hashing that one over. I regret not focusing on Jesus Christ more this year, especially during THE SEASON. I let myself get caught up with work and school and before I knew it we were driving to Christmas Day. We tried to enjoy an acapella concert... much different with a 2 and a 1/2 year old than last year when he still wasn't even standing. I am amazed how fast he is progressing, we just learned gallop, a year ago we were hoping for weight bearing... completely shocked at the growth... anyway, where was I... hey look a run on sentence...hmmm, well, moving on...

I'm not big into New Year's resolutions, mainly because I don't last even a week, so that affords me the opportunity to be philosophically anti resolution. I do think it is a time worth pondering, taking inventory and whatever touchy feely word comes to mind. One of my reoccurring faults is to let reflection turn into wallowing, so I try to glance at mirrors instead of pulling up a recliner and camping out.

I'm guessing most of us "normal" people frequently feel overwhelmed, right? I can't imagine I'm the only one who feels like I am flailing in slow motion in the middle of a wheat field while angry torch wielding villagers are charging in from every direction... or am I? Sometimes I just want to yell BRING IT ON and punch whatever villager is close, other times I want to curl up in a ball and hope they just run right over me and sometimes I find myself just staring at the flames of their torches, entranced, unable to decide on my next move. See, this is what happens when I spend too much time in front of that self inspection reflection... I let a little of the crazy inside my head show....

To finish off on a very enlightened, post graduate level of self-reflective torch bearing introspection... here are the results to Kristen's and my alphabet game that helped keep me awake while I was driving to CO for a Christmas Eve surprise...

A is for Archaic Angels
B is four bouncy baubles
c is for colorful candles
d is for demented deer
e is for
f is for frosty flocking
g is for gaudy garland
h is for holy Handel
i is for illuminated icicles
j is for just Jesus
k is for kept kitchens
l is for lowly lowings
m is for magical movies
n is for nocturnal noel
o is for
p is for phat Prancer
q is for quaking quail
r is for riotous ribbon
s is for
t is for two turtle doves
u is for
v is for voluminous violins
w is for winter wonderland
x is for xeroxed xylophones (Santa has to go through security with a xylophone... you try to come up with a Christmas X item)
y is for yodeling yule
z is for

ok, I forgot a few, blame it on the eggnog... Once I stop trying to remember they will come back to me...