Twelve

I'm feeling a little random and I'm not sure it's a good idea to allow access to the true inner deep thoughts that are attached to all of the little random thought fragments spinning about my head. So I think I may just make a list of disjointed thoughts....

1.) It felt uplifting and special to tell Kristen's grandfather in his last couple of years that his garden plot was being used as a big ol' garden plot. I'm glad we were able to do that for him. Eventually we will be moving on now, it sounds like the family isn't in a huge rush, but it's inevitable. It's kind of sad that my next home will be devoid of feelings of service for a passing generation, it was a nice connection that I will always appreciate.

2.) I think that when babies have to get blood drawn the mother should be handed a needle, and as long as the nurse roots and digs for a vein in the helpless little sprout of an arm the mother should be allowed to do the same in the nurse's other arm. Greydon's follow up clinic was today. I had to go to class, and only was ok with embracing my abandonment issues because the follow up clinic is supposed to be comprised of pretty routine checks and benign tests and observations. The doctor wanted to eliminate some possible reasons why Greydon's gross motor skill development is the only thing lagging behind. Everything else was great, but Kristen had to take Greydon for some blood tests. Angie was there, which was nice, but I feel horrible that Kristen had to watch him get speared by a less than talented nurse who kept digging in his arm, and fishing and digging, and searching and digging, while he cried and cried, before getting someone else to finally do it. Maybe it was good I wasn't there... Especially with the availability of other needles, scalpels, ...tongue depressors,....blood pressure cuffs, anything that could have been used to maim or bludgeon really...

3.) Perception is a fascinating subject. I think I'm pretty smart. To be honest, I think I'm really smart. On some levels I know I'm not really that smart, but I think "knowing" that I'm not really that smart just proves how smart I really am. Then I pulled out some old report cards I found from high school... uhm... huh, I remembered getting much better grades, and being much smarter than this evidence suggests... hmmm, I'll just use the "smart people get bored with school" mantra and go back to thinking I'm pretty smart.

4.) Perception is fascinating. I perceive that I live in a small safe hamlet in the middle of Utah. As I poke around in real estate I make judgement calls about the kinds of neighbor hoods that I would just not feel safe moving into. Today Kristen and I went for a walk. Instead of walking through the little streets of our little neighbor-"hood" we walked two blocks to the main road so we could stop at the gas station for a little treat. So, walking two blocks away from our house and then a few blocks down the street we passed the half-fenced, abandoned and knocked down remains of an old building, a few vacant and rotting old businesses, a bar advertising some "special" events, a house or three that have to be pretty popular stops for our local police force, a very scary pile of trailer homes that makes your heart ache, a few abandoned lots with construction equipment for sale, a house that clearly is inhabited by severely disturbed hillbillies, a run down excuse for a dog breeding kennel that emitted smells that made me want to lop off my nose with the stroller wheel and a few houses with boarded up windows and some interesting vehicles in various stages of disrepair.

The interesting thing is that I've never hated this neighborhood or felt unsafe, when in reality, it's not exactly a hamlet on a hill. it is also old and charming, has nice old houses with yards cared for by elderly gentleman with affinities for little yippy dogs, kids still try to sell lemonade on a hot day, I just walked next to one park and through another, and there are big old trees that make the little roads into shady lanes. It's interesting how we perceive the familiar and scoff at or judge what we perceive as "less than".

5.) I'm terrified of being "less than" in anyway for Greydon.

6.) I am humbled, honored, elated, thrilled, and oddly peaceful to be his father. He is a part of me, which I always heard and never appreciated. Billy Joel is a genius

7.) Greydon looks great in a tie.
even in low-light-blurry pictures

8.) Totino's pizzas list different cooking times in the instructions on the back of the pizza box that vary depending on the kind of pizza you are making. This time may differ by only one minute either way. Someone is getting paid to sit and test if 13, 14, or 15 minutes acheives the best level of crispy crust-ness for the "combination" pizza and then they start from scratch testing 13, 14, 15, or 16 minutes for the "3-meat" pizza... and I'm going to college....

9.) It's all about marketing... I wonder how rarely we ever know the real story or all of the facts about anything.

10.) Greydon is precious... fact!

11.) 10 is a good round number and a great place to stop a list... this was number 11.

12.) please refer to number 11.