A damp how d'ya do

So peaceful.



We both got to hold Greydon for long peaceful visits today, it was wonderful. This morning Dr. Ogden came over to do rounds and gave us all of the details about his eye exam. He has stage 2 retinopathy of prematurity(ROP) in zone 2.

Zone 3 is fully filled in vessels, zone 1 is right next to the optic nerve. So his vessels are growing, but haven't made it to zone 3 yet... we want zone 3 so he has peripheral vision. ROP is what is happening at the end of the vessels, as they continue to grow. In both eyes he has ridges. Perfect vessels are just there, Stage 1 is where they start to have a little raised line where they are growing, stage 2 the line increases to a ridge, stage 3 is little mountains of vessel, which they laser to stop because stage 4 means the the vessels have raised so much that they have caused the retina to detach.

It is possible that the ridges will get worse as the vessels continue to grow, hopefully to the outer edges of zone 3. It is possible the ridges will go away, or stay the same. Some of his ridges are more pronounced than others. So in a week they look again and see what they are doing.

They have been turning down the temperature on his bed letting him regulate his own body temperature, which he has been doing. This morning our favorite day nurse Shelly is back from a 3 week vacation, she couldn't believe how big Greydon is now. When she left he didn't even weigh 3 pounds yet and was only eating 2 ml of milk, and had actually been taken off feedigs right as she left. Now he almost weighs four lbs and 5 oz and is eating 38ml of milk. Such a chunk. Anyway a nurse we didn't love a day or so ago turned his temperature back up saying he wasn't keeping himself warm, wrapped him in fleece, put a hat on him and roasted the little guy. This morning Shelly (did I mention we love Shelly) Said.. "Hello!" The other nurse had turned the temp down but left his little mini water bed underneath him, have you ever tried to sleep on a cold water bed? It's no wonder he was cold. Shelly (we love her) took out the little water bed insert and he has been doing great with his temperature since, so he will probably be moving to an open bed soon. (Did I mention we love Shelly)

We also learned that fleece is not a preemie's friend. Fleece is designed to not breath, so you keep warm if it gets wet. This is not what a preemie needs because they just keep getting hotter and hotter and can't do anything about it. It is great for home emergency kits for exactly why they don't swaddle preemies with fleece.

Tonight was bath night. Our nurse Linda (also loved) got busy with another baby so we did everything ourselves tonight. This probably sounds like no big deal, but there are special little moments that catch you off guard when you get to feel like a parent, instead of someone who they are letting hold onto the baby they are taking care of. The nurses who understand that are naturally talented at their job, and it has very little to do with how long they've been there. One of our favorite nurses is pretty new, and two others have been there for years and years... One of my little moments was a while ago when the nurse let me get Greydon out of the bed, and sit down with him to hold him without her helping with the cords, or handing him off. Kristen and I were talking about this earlier, she said once the nurse had to get something and was holding Greydon, Kristen offered to get it for her. Smart nurse said, "here you hold him" So Kristen was standing there, not in the middle of transporting him here or there, no one standing near by to help no barriers, just standing... It's the little things.. it's over said and is over used but it is so true.

So! I am rambling and I haven't got to the best part. We are doing all of his bath with no help or suggestions, or anyone checking on us at all, which was fun to feel like a little family. When you get done we put him in a warmed blanket to dry him off, and then a second one to finish the job. Normally you then put him back in the bed that the nurse has remade while we bathed him. As mentioned, she was elsewhere. So after handing him off to Kristen to dry, I went and made the bed... but had to stop and grab this picture while we both laughed and laughed



That dark area on the bottom of his blanket and the dark circle on Kristen's shirt... that's not bath water...

I didn't make the bed fast enough so Greydon peed on his mom.

This surely wont be the last time, but I'm pretty sure it was the first. Kristen just laughed and called it a rite of passage.

We re-cleaned certain areas, then got him all snug in a new outfit and new bedding..... so dang cute, and chunky at his 4lbs 5oz



Tonight was a good night. It's getting harder to not have him home though and Kristen said today at lunch everything else in life seems even less important than it used to. He seems healthy, and he wakes up when we're not there, and has preferences and opinions, and it's time he has a home. It's getting hard for Kristen and I hate seeing her sad. They suggested we tape a family photo to the roof of his bed so he has something to look at when he wakes up, which we did. Trying to comfort me a nurse told me that they would never just let a baby fuss, that they would hold him and comfort him if he needed.....

I'm his parent,
I want to hold him if he needs comforting,
and I don't want him to have to look at my picture because I'm not there,

and yes I am about ready to lay down, and throw a little hissy fit temper tantrum.
ME ME ME

There was a dad holding his son for the first time tonight, the baby has been there for almost three months....

and I'm complaining....

perspective schmerfective