I think I'm going to be sick...

Before I forget, Kristen is putting together another MaryKay order. This is not a money making venture, she just likes getting everything without paying for someone else's pink cadilac. I think she has to add in tax and shipping so she doesn't lose money. So if you want some make up at wholesale, bargain, blow out, going on now, get them before they are gone, be one of the first twenty callers, we must be crazy, never before offered to the public, police auction, prices, give us a jingle.

Today they did start Greydon on erythromycin, the antibiotic that for some reason helps with digestion. In most cases it takes 2-3 days before it will start showing an effect.

His brain scan is now scheduled for tomorrow morning, so we'll see if I sleep at all tonight.

He had another eye check up and there was no change, which is good.

Tonight after he ate and he got handed off to me he promptly filled his diaper with the most foul smelling liquid evil I have ever smelled, apparently this is how traditions get started? You would think that would've made him all happy and content, but he was still all fidgety, until he got his bath.... ohhh he loves his bath. I am seriously considering taking a bath wrapped in a blanket to see if it is as good as he obviously thinks it is. Soon spas all over the world will add it to the menu, any investors?

During the bath he found something for the first time!



We were trying to balance him in the bath while I grabbed for the camera, this may be a very common dance step in the years to come. Right after I start my blanket bath spa chain I will be looking for investors to finance my invention that straps the camera right to your chest, start filming with just a shrug of the shoulder!

After his bath we put him in a onesie we had made....


"I'm cute 'cuz Linda says so"

We have three favorites, but Linda is the one that gives him little pep talks, so we wanted to do something like this.

She loved it.



Ok, there are certain things Kristen doesn't like talking about, and therefore I usually avoid them. Pretty much anything that would make a teenager giggle during health class would fall under this category. But I just have to share.

Let's get this out of the way first...

MilkMilkbreastsMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkbreastyMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkbreastMilkMilkMilkMilkboobiesMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkbustyMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkbreastsMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkmom'smaketheirownMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkbreastMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkbreastsMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkmelonsMilkMilkMilkMilknicerackMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilbreastkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkbreastMilkMilkbreastMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilkMilk.

Ok, now if that was too much, you may want to stop here.... explicit content to come, and not what you might be expecting.

So Kristen is doing her job very well, enough that if we had had twins the lactation specialists still would be content and proud. Now Greydon is not eating as much as a set of twins for sure, and the milk is piling up pretty quick. No, really... piling up..

Not long before Greydon was born Kristen's parents gave us a chest freezer as a gift. We thankfully and promptly filled it with all sorts of food. Now we are wishing we had been a little less eager to fill that baby up with TV dinners.

After we gave the NICU everything milk related they needed (the first 40 bottles even get special labels they are so healthy for him) we started putting what he wasn't eating fresh in our freezer above the fridge, and lots of it gets left at the hospital still, because he does eat some. After we filled up the freezer in the house, which took about 5 minutes, we started finding any nook and cranny to fit some milk into the new chest freezer out in the garage, trying to eat as much frozen food as possible to free up more space. Never being home made this last task somewhat difficult.

A while ago we just couldn't fit any more, so we decided to rent another freezer until he got home and started eating well. Now this is where many of you are thinking what the nurses suggested, "Well why not ask your friends, your family, your neighbors, that new couple who just moved in two doors down, I'm sure they would be happy to store some for you" Please refer to about 5 paragraphs in the recent past and let's remember that I am married to Kristen.

"Hi, how are you today? Could you store multiple vials of stuff I squeezed out of my breast in your freezer?" Is not going to be in Kristen's top ten favorite conversation openers.

So we went to Rent-A-Center...

I am not a RAC fan, I actually had to give references. Really? References?

"Why, yes I do think Calvin is responsible enough to not skip town with or try to steal or vandalize your FREEZER!" Was a conversation that at least three relatives currently not living with me got to have with chuckles the rent a center clerk.

Anyway, it got here, I plugged it into the outlet I had already replaced in the garage for the first one and waited to see if the wiring in the garage would burst into flame with the load of two freezers. So far so good.

Approximately 30 minutes later the new freezer is over brimming with little tubes of infant nourishment and we can't possibly shove one more little bottle into one more corner of the first freezer, or the new freezer that I apparently may be tempted to sell on the alluring freezer black market.

Have you ever heard of a meat locker? I'm not being sarcastic here, apparently there are places where you can rent freezer space for things you've killed. Who knew.

One of the nurses at the NICU said that she sent a lot of mom's to Ford's meat processing in Provo right next to the hospital. Kristen was not real excited to store the food for her newborn son next to a hanging deer carcass so we rented the freezer that is now about to burst.

Kristen called Fords a couple of days ago.

We were told they don't rent meat lockers anymore, but once he heard why we had called he was willing to make an exception and find something for her.

Yesterday Kristen dropped by.

No one answered the front door.

I wasn't there.

She went around back looking for someone.

She did not find a customer service rep. She did find a skinny dirty alley/driveway straight out of the nightmares of someone severely disturbed, or a hillbilly on crack.

The driveway of pain ran next to the back of the buildings and next to an empty lot choked with weeds, garbage and rusted junk. It opened into a little plaza of horrors. There was a pile of protruding partial legs cut off of various animals laying and rotting, in various stages of decay, most having been gnawed on by something or somethings, Maggots, flies and who knows what else crawling, buzzing and feasting. On the side of a concrete pad there was a large cauldron like pot with something bubbling and boiling inside, the pot may have been something cooking for the carniceria next door, she doesn't know. Hanging above all of this was some sort of clear hanging box thing meant to trap flies, it was filled and over flowing with fly remains, no longer really doing much to help the situation.

So, no longer really needing to talk to a customer service rep......

she went ahead and left.

I had to stop her a few times in her retelling of her experience as my stomach churned dangerously and violently.

And she keeps making milk.

Is it wrong to take a plate of cookies to the neighbors while asking if they will store breast milk? Hmmm, maybe not the right time to underline the milk/cookie correlation.