Tier level one

Our view from the last hospital room looked right at the door to the surgery I'm gonna have a c-section room. We watched the doctors and nurses spend a long time being very thorough washing and becoming germ free, the doc had booties on that came up to his knees and everyone had little fluffy white hats on... and then the mom to be came ambling painfully into view holding her belly like it might fall off with one hand her other arm hastily wrapped in whatever blankets and gowns came dragging behind her as she lurched from her room, waddling along until she reached the door frame where she paused long enough to catch a breath before being prodded past our view like a fat turkey two days before Thanksgiving.... what, you couldn't get the woman a rolling bed, a wheelchair, how about just an office chair, or at least a skate board she could have perched on and clung to while her husband pushed her?

Did she ask for the c-section discount package? "I'm sorry wheeled access to the surgical unit is reserved for out platinum guests, please hobble along the solid yellow line until you reach your destination.."

Instead of balloons or flowers I hope her friends just bring sheets of paper they can use to fan her off with, I'm guessing the Bronze Saver Package doesn't include air conditioning!

Her new little baby gets the old cracked baby nursery bed, half of which is all foggy like an old glass sliding door.

Instead of a cute little pink or blue beanie-cap they'll just use old socks, a faded black gold-toe for a boy, tan argyle with a hole in the toe if it's a girl.

Her nursing staff is only made up of depressed high schol drop outs who got kicked out of beauty school and one narcoleptic incontinent grandma.

Upgrade lady, buy the upgrade!